You know what I learned from friendship when I was a kid?
"Hey, you’re replaceable."
And if it comes from anywhere, I’d have to say that’s where my jealousy stems from. From being replaced or forgotten or put away.
Friendship-wise, I don’t usually become jealous unless we’re close friends, and even then when I do try to control it it just.. becomes painful.
It is not something I can control.
When it comes to crushing on someone, my jealousy isn’t the same type of thing, I don’t think. Not completely.
I think that’s more insecurity. Because the person I like isn’t ‘mine’ and therfore I can be so easily replaced, too. And that hurts even more because when I become that close to a person and I’m crushing on them, it’s like someone twisting my brain until there’s nothing but pressure inside me.
It’s not a great feeling.
However, knowing that a person is ‘mine’ or that I /do/ mean a lot more to them than the other person (if that is the case) or that they won’t replace me, that’s something that almost all but erases the jealousy.
It’s still there but it’s easier to control and forget about.
I don’t know.
I’m just really insecure and I only have a few select people in my life and when that happems people generally tend to leave I don’t think anyone can blame me for wanting to keep at least one person.